The Golden Poodle award for July goes to Browser the beloved library cat who carried out his catly duties flawlessly for six years. When he was suddenly fired and then rehired by the city council, he attracted worldwide attention.
Browser was originally brought in because of a serious rodent infestation. The staff did what humans have done since the dawn of time, they brought in a cat.
Problem solved until...
The Lizard Brain award goes to the city council members who voted to fire Browser. They are Paul Moore and Elzie Clements (My sources incorrectly identified Clements as a woman. He is a man, currently at least). Hopefully, they learned some valuable lessons about governing and will find new employment after the elections.
The Neanderthal award goes to Joshua West, a lowlife druggie who allowed his tiny puppy to ingest drugs that would have killed him if authorities hadn’t busted the operation.
A special July thank you to the puppy raisers of the world, people who take in rude little canine barbarians and turn them into polite little dogs happy to take on whatever job that needs to be done.