The Golden Poodle award goes to cats.
Although dogs have worked side by side with humans for centuries to build a civilization, cats have come into our lives very much on their own terms.
See also The Natural Superiority of Cats
The Lizard Brain award goes to any car maker who isn't Subaru.
While other commercials feature driving fast cars that we are warned not to attempt to drive, the logic of good gas mileage, misguided attempts at humor, or blatant sex, Subaru has increased its market share with a campaign featuring love, safety, family and cute dogs.
Fortunately for every Neanderthal who would do this, hundreds of caring humans are willing to come to their aid.