The Golden Poodle award for December goes to Chili Pasternak, the Jerry Garcia lookalike Poodle; his owner Jake Pasternak; and all the therapy dog teams who came to Newtown, Connecticut at their own expense to console the children and adults, as only dogs can do.
The Lizard Brain award goes to Gary Rintel, 45, the owner of a pair of cloned dogs which he lets run loose in New York’s Central Park and on nearby city streets to the exasperation of other residents.
Rintel lives on a trust fund. He seems to believe that keeping a dog on a leash and picking up after them are for peasants who can’t afford $140,000 for a pair of cloned dogs and unlimited city fines.
Unfortunately his dogs and other people are the victims of his arrested development.
The Neanderthal award goes to the person who helped herself to someone else’s black and orange Mohawk Poodle in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Then while the whole area was searching, she took the dog for a walk where three witnesses reported seeing them.
Actually this may be an insult to Neanderthals who probably didn’t steal each other’s stuff.
Have a happy and Apocalypse-free New Year