I ran these several years ago, but not much behavior has been modified in the meantime.
New Year's Resolutions for the cat
by the dogs
- I will not play Thundering Buffalo Stampeding across the Great Plains while humans and dogs are sleeping on the bed.
- I will patiently allow the dogs to sniff my mouth and nether regions when I return to the yard to bring them the news from the neighborhood.
- I will limit my going out/coming in to one time per each door opening
- I will not rub up against any dog while another dog or human is watching and laughing.
- I will allow the dogs some measure of doggie dignity by not curling up with them even though they are warm.
- When playing chase with the dogs, I must not embarrass them by getting in the rear.
- When playing with humans and dogs, I must remember I have retractable claws and keep them retracted.
- When launching myself from the bed to the window or dresser, I must not use humans or dogs as a launching pad. The same is true of a landing pad.
- I will not weave around feet in the hallway or on the steps even though it does cause some excitement.
- A human typing on a computer does not form a hammock for my enjoyment.
- I will remember that my human can see me when she first wakes up in the morning even when I am further than one inch from her face.
- Playing psycho cat from hell when I am put into the cat carrier only annoys the humans and amuses the dogs.
New Year's Resolutions for dogs
- I will not bark at people walking past the house.
- I will not bark at leaves blowing in the street.
- I will not bark at the garbage or recycling collectors.
- I will not bark when the branches blow in the wind.
- I will not bark when the shed doors rattle.
- I will not bark when squirrels run across the roof.
- I will not bark when the whistling kettle whistles.
- I will not bark when I hear a siren five miles away.
- I will not bark when a car horn honks.
- I will not grab cats by the tail and drag them around the living room just to hear them make really cool noises.