The Poodle (and Dog) Blog

You have the right not to vote

I vote now but for years I exercised my right not to vote, in spite of forces that tried to tell me I was the worst of all possible citizens.

I was raising small children and teaching literature to other people’s big children. My focus was on home, family and a large Old English Sheepdog who was a full time responsibility on her own.

Like Candide I just wanted to take care of my garden.

I tried to avoid the news of the day because I felt helpless and overwhelmed by the impending crises of the times.

They were:

• The Coming Ice Age which would send glaciers down our neighborhood streets, carrying away lawn furniture and tomato plants.
• The Hole in the Ozone which would melt the arctic ice caps and bring beach front property to those living in higher elevations.
• The Death of the Oceans which would pretty much curtail those long romantic walks along the beach.
• The Daily Mantra of all the food and drinks which were destined to kill us.

Who would I vote for? The one with the most lawn signs? Who would I vote against? The scariest TV ads? I didn’t have the time or inclination to inform myself on issues or personalities to make intelligent choices.

My hero was the 90-year-old woman who said: "I never vote. It just gives the son of a bitches confidence.”

 

For picky eaters

Poodle Pancakes

From  Encino Patch

 

Tiny horse joins tiny dog to fight crime

Midge, a Chihuahua-Rat Terrier mix, has been a certified sniffer dog for the Geauga County, Ohio, Sheriff’s department for four years.

Not only can Midge get into areas that a larger dog can’t get into for her drug sniffing duties, she also serves in a public relations capacity for Sheriff Dan McClelland’s department.

Everyone loves Midge and her “No drugs” message.

Now he has added a new tiny member to the department—a 34-inch tall horse named Junior Deputy Rick O’Shay. 

While Midge works the dangerous drug beat for the department, Rick O’Shay’s duties are mostly of the public relations nature.

She appears at school and community events where families and children are present.

With the new little deputy, according to the Sheriff:

We can demonstrate that law enforcement is approachable, that a police officer is a friend… She’s just at ease, she makes people at ease.

"Moss man" says it was just a Halloween costume

The Oregon man who was captured by a police dog, dressed in a full camouflage suit near the scene of a museum break-in says it’s all a big mistake.

He was “having a bad day” and was "in the wrong place at the wrong time." He was just “wearing a Halloween costume.”

Police and museum officials are not buying the story.

Great costume though.

Beethoven, a classic dog movie, DVD giveaway

Beethoven was the product of writer/director John Hughes, whose works include some of the most successful movies of the 80’s and ’90’s: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, 101 Dalmatians, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Uncle Buck and the three Home Alone movies among many others.

Unfortunately what followed Beethoven through the years were a lot of bad imitations.

The original Beethoven, released in 1992, still holds up today as a delightful family comedy. It was well written, intelligently directed, with a talented cast.

The plot is simple. When people are watching cute dogs do funny things they don’t want a convoluted plot. The plot is basically dog chooses family, bad guys steal dog, family gets dog back. Many dog movies since that time have stolen the plot with various degrees of success.

Charles Grodin plays the father as an anal retentive type who still manages to be a very sympathetic character, wanting only the best for his family. He resists adopting Beethoven, a St. Bernard puppy who wanders into their home. “We’re not dog people, we’re goldfish people.”

Being outnumbered he gives in to the insistence of his family. After some laugh out loud large-dog-run-amok scenes, the prissy Grodin is convinced that Beethoven is ruining his life. And he is a little jealous of all the attention the dog is getting.

The mother is played by Bonnie Hunt who is always wonderful even when she has terrible scripts.

The children are more like real kids with real kid problems rather than the Hollywood smartass kids who are often in movies.

Dean Jones is chilling as the evil veterinarian. He’s a very different Dean Jones from his early Disney films. It’s clear why he won feature roles on stage and screen for so many years.

Even though his evil henchmen provide the comic relief, both are serious actors. Oliver Platt trained in Shakespearean theatre and Stanley Tucci has since received an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor.

Two yuppie types who are trying to swindle Grodin are played by talented young actors who were known mostly to their friends and families at the time. But today anyone who has even walked by a TV set in the intervening years recognizes both him and her. Do you know who they are?

Anyone?

Ok I’ll tell you in comments.

But mostly it is Beethoven who makes this movie memorable. Unlike many dog movies, Beethoven is never a victim. From the time he leads the other puppies to freedom and chooses a family to captivate, he is always in charge.

When he is confined to a backyard kennel, he makes sure he has an escape route so that he can help his children when they need him. Humans can be misled by bad intentions of other humans, but Beethoven sees through them.

Even when Grodin is tricked into giving up Beethoven to keep his family safe, it is clear that the dog has won over the human when he says goodbye. “You were my dog too.”

If you don’t like the idea that dogs and small children can be more intuitive than adults, you probably shouldn’t watch the movie.

Beethoven’s 2nd was made the following year with the same family cast, but everything that was good about Beethoven was mediocre at best about the sequel.

I’ve lost track of the number of Beethoven movies that have been inflicted on the world since then. There is more to making a good movie than just having a big dog do funny stuff.

I have a DVD of Beethoven to give away.

In comments just post the name of your favorite movie to be eligible for a random drawing. Must leave email address. One entry per email address. Last day to enter October 31.

Seriously—anyone who names Old Yeller will be disqualified. Most of you know why.

Internet scammers targeting puppy sellers and others on Craigslist

Most online businesses are wise to this scam, but it keeps working on private sellers who are eager to make a sale and not as experienced in the ways of the scamming world.

Recently a man in Oregon advertised eleven terrier puppies on Craigslist for $70 each. In September he received an email from a woman who wanted all ten puppies, promising they would be “loved and cared for.”

(Perhaps a dog breeder who has to sell puppies on Craigslist might consider spaying and neutering, but I digress…)

When the check came, it was for $1,767 instead of $770. The buyer asked that he wire the difference to a shipper and keep the rest for his trouble. She insisted that she was eager to get the puppies right away and her shipper was experienced in handling puppies and ready to pick them up as soon as the check came.

Instead he waited for her check to clear which, of course, it didn’t. The bank put a hold on the check and when he went to collect the money he found out that the check was a fake.

Other sellers have not been so lucky. Some have immediately wired the money, and some banks have taken up to a week to let the customers know that they had been scammed.

Scammers can put in an eight hour day arranging to buy furniture, boats, cars, and all sorts of items from Craigslist. They send a counterfeit check for hundreds of $$ over the purchase price. It might be a company check, a money order or a cashiers check. Then they ask the seller to wire money to a third party. If the buyer balks, they have been known to send death threats.

If they get just one person to fall for it, it’s been a profitable day for them. If a deal looks too good to be true, you know what it is.

Creative Dog Grooming—it’s not just for Poodles any more

Although Poodles are usually the main focus of extreme dog grooming,  other breeds are getting into the act.

In a recent creative dog grooming competition in Australia, Lori McGill transformed Cruza, a Bichon Frise, into the Sphinx.

Lori spent months studying pictures of the Great Sphinx of Giza to prepare for the competition. It was quite a production. Her husband built a pyramid for the background and she put on a Cleopatra costume.

I try not to judge the way other people spend their time and money.

I get that the stylists work hard to prepare for the competition and they assure us that the dogs love being fussed over.

What I don’t get is that people actually pay to sit and watch these dog grooming competitions.

OK, probably someone (me) who sits around in a licensed jersey watching the 49’ers play their version of football should not be critical of any activity.

It's time to switch sports for a while.

Go

This blog will be dog Halloween costume free

After this one

On book snobs and other loathsome creatures

After I finished my MA in English I spent the next few months reading crap.

I needed some perspective.

After years of reading the most celebrated words people had committed to paper or parchment through the centuries, I needed to read the forgettable.

At first I disguised what I was reading, but eventually I didn’t care if my snobby friends found out. I was enjoying myself.

It is said, and probably correctly, that English majors are people who love to read but have sacrificed reading for pleasure to reading for a reward—a grade, a degree.

Sadly some teachers try to inflict that mentality on their students. Instead of helping students enjoy reading and appreciate literature, they use reward and punishment to force it on the students. 

There are those teachers who make Shakespeare come alive, giving their students a lifelong love of the Bard. Shakespeare didn’t write for scholars. He wrote to entertain the raucous, bawdy masses that poured into the Globe Theatre.

Then there are those teachers who say, “Read Act I, Scene i for tomorrow. There will be a quiz.”

As a result many students get frustrated and go through life hating to read anything more challenging than a menu.

I understand the frustration.

At one time during my pursuit in academia, I was committed to reading the entirety of Edmund Spenser’s classic, The Faerie Queene, for a paper. It was a painful experience. It is a long incredibly dull poem written as a tribute to Queen Elizabeth I.

I was sure even she didn’t read it.

My professor encouraged me by saying, “When you are finished you will be one of the few people alive today who has read all of The Faerie Queene.”

I never knew what to do with it though. It didn’t look right on a résumé. Dropping it into a conversation didn’t work. Normal people would just look puzzled waiting for me to make a point. Those who knew Spenser’s work just looked at me with pity and wondered why.

Fast forward to…yesterday I checked out two books by James Patterson. The librarian gave me a superior smile, sniffed, and said, “Oh, some light reading.”

Say what? That might have been a time to tell her that I was one of the few living people who had read the entirety of The Faerie Queene.

But I didn’t. Instead I remembered a time when I had read a most amazing book and was recommending it to other people.

Among those in the group was Benjamin, a pompous snob, the type who always watched “films,” never “movies.”

He had not read the book, but he smiled smugly and said: “Well, it’s really just light reading. It’s written in the persona of a child.”

To Kill a Mockingbird became an American classic.

Where are you today, Benjamin? Are you still a pretentious asshole?

Guard dog for sale--$200,000

In spite of, or maybe because of, the economy, guard dogs are selling for up to $50,000 to $200,000 according to Discovery News.

And reputable services are barely keeping up with the demand for these dogs.

Why would someone pay the price of a luxury car or even a house to own a dog?

Wealthy families and high profile people such as professional athletes and entertainers have the money and the desire to protect their families. Many of them are concerned with not only criminals but also with deranged people that most of us don’t have to deal with.

What they are paying for is not a vicious attack dog, but a dog that is bred and trained to be a trusted family pet who plays with the children while guarding the home. They are trained to identify suspicious sounds and to perform protection work on command while still being family companions.

People marketing these dogs usually refer to them as “protection” dogs rather than “guard” dogs.

There are reasons that a dog might be better than a security system. Canine hearing ability picks up suspicious sounds before any alarm system and a barking dog alerts the neighborhood. Criminals know that confronting a dog is more perilous than tripping an alarm.

Besides the dog, the price may also include learning how to work with the dog in a handlers’ training course. Some sites offer delivery and on site training for the whole family. Some offer consultation with professional trainers for the life of the dog.

German Shepherds are the dogs most offered for sale as protection dogs because of their natural intelligence and instincts. They are also far more intimidating to strangers than, for example a Poodle or a Labrador.

Besides the protection these dogs provide, they are also status symbols—cute, furry status symbols.

At those prices you’d probably want to leave the price tag on.