The Poodle (and Dog) Blog

The Celebrity Apprentice

On Monday, March 2 a new reality show will premiere on NBC at 9/8, as Donald Trump presents “The Celebrity Apprentice.”

My son who has an encyclopedic knowledge of modern American culture tells me this is the second season, but I’m that much behind.

The reason I know about this one is that I bought an US Weekly at the supermarket because I wanted to find out if octo mom had breast implants and cosmetic surgery while on public assistance. Since the checkout line moved fast, I had to buy the magazine before I could find out. (US is pretty sure she did.) As a California taxpayer I thought that I had a right to know since there is a possibility that I paid for them.

On the inside of the cover is a 2 page spread promoting “The Celebrity Apprentice.”

Picture it…Donald Trump and his henchmen…sixteen celebrities (some I have even heard of) vying for the position of Trump’s apprentice.

The egos, the backbiting, the scheming, the humiliation, the dog fights, the cat fights…. It has the trappings of being the best guilty pleasure of all time.

Now here’s the problem: I have a conflict. My heart belongs to Keiffer Sutherland and “24,” saving the country one explosion at a time. I don’t TIVO and my VCR is inoperable.

Remember last summer when I watched “America’s Greatest Dog” every week so you didn’t have to? It’s payback time. I hope someone will post what happened on Tuesdays. Maybe even live blog it. You won’t have to search for an idea for a Tuesday post for the duration of the show.

Let me tempt you with the all-star cast: Jesse James, Dennis Rodman, Andrew Dice Clay, Joan Rivers, Herschel Walker, Khloe Kardashian, Tionne Watkins, Natalie Gulbis, Tom Green, Claudia Jordan, Clint Black, Brande Roderick, Brian McKnight, Melissa Rivers, Scott Hamilton, Annie Duke.

Surprisingly I have heard of seven of them and have even interviewed one.

If you think this show is a ridiculous idea and you need to exercise your inner snarkiness, you are probably perfect for the job.

Monday, March 2, 9/8 on NBC

POODLE POWER

A rookie dog, a retiring dog and dog jewelry in the news

Near San Diego, a rookie drug sniffing dog his first night on duty sniffed out a 477 pound stash of marijuana, according to the U.S. Customs and Border Protection agency. The remote stretch along Old Highway 80 is popular for traffickers to bring drugs into the U.S.from Mexico.

The 2-year-old male German Shepherd working with his handler discovered the drugs stashed in nine duffel bags. The stash has a street value of about $380,000. Agents arrested two suspected illegal immigrants who allegedly brought the drugs across the border. News reports have to say “allegedly” because of course "alleged" smugglers never have any idea how 477 pounds of marijuana  got into their vehicle.

And in a related case, in New Zealand, retiring police dog Aster made the most of his last working days by assisting in the arrest of four young burglars and car thieves. The four had broken into a liquor store early in the morning and were seen driving a stolen car by Constable Kelvin Roberts, Aster’s handler. After a short pursuit, the car was spiked. Aster and Kelvin moved in and strongly discouraged the offenders from leaving the scene until back up arrived.

Depending on their physical condition, police dogs usually serve until they’re 7 to 10 years old.

Contrary to what you may have heard from AR liars dimwits poop for brains activists, former working dogs are not thrown on the trash heap when their working days are over. Some police dogs live on with their handlers and their families or other police officer families. They adapt well to not having to go to work every day and many qualified people want to adopt them.

And in a not related case, in Denver three armed robbers reportedly stole $300,000 worth of dog jewelry, including jeweled collars and leashes, from a salesman as he left a Starbucks. He had recently been to the Rocky Mountain Cluster Dog Show in Denver. There were no witnesses to the robbery.

How the history of England was changed by a dog

The history of England from the time of Henry VIII might have been different if it weren’t for a greyhound named Urian.

Henry VIII wanted a divorce from Catherine of Aragon because she had grown too old to give him a male heir. He wanted to marry Anne Boleyn, who was later to give birth to Queen Elizabeth I.

Hoping to convince the pope to grant the divorce, he sent Cardinal Wolsley to the Vatican. For some reason lost in history, Wolsey took Urian his greyhound into the audience with the pope.

Things seemed to be going well at first. According to custom Cardinal Wolsey bent down to kiss the toe of the pope. (I don't know why either.) Urian, however, thinking his master was in danger of a kick in the head lunged forward and bit the pope’s bare foot.

Furious, the pope dismissed Wolsey and refused to grant the request.

Eventually when Anne Boleyn became pregnant, Henry rejected the power of the pope over England and had the archbishop of Canterbury grant the divorce from Catherine. Henry went on to establish the Church of England and break with the Catholic church. Without Urian there might have been no Reformation.

HSUS kills puppies

Newborn puppies are too dangerous to live,
according to the Humane Society of the United States.

Read the story here
and here

Puppy survives plunge off 200 foot cliff into icy water

Dotty a 7 month old Cocker Spaniel puppy, was chasing a bird when she fell off a 200 foot cliff near her owner’s home in Wales, according to this story from the BBC. But what followed makes her one Lucky Dog.

Her owner Keli Beamon, watched in horror as the dog plunged into the icy water in the quarry below. She expected to see her puppy splattered on the rocks. Instead when she got down to the bottom, Dotty ran to her and leaped into her arms unhurt.

And here’s where the term Lucky Dog is appropriate.

A group of underwater divers was diving in the quarry and quickly came over to help her. One of the divers saw her hit the cliff three times on her way down and then she plunged  ten feet under the surface. The divers were able to lift her out of the water, give her oxygen from their tanks, and wrap her in a blanket. Soon her tail started wagging.

Bearmon said: "She must be the luckiest dog in the world - it's a miracle she survived. The fall alone should have killed her - and entering the water at that speed must have been like hitting a brick wall. I couldn't believe it when I found her on all fours with her tail wagging. She was very cold because the water was just two degrees but she escaped without a scratch."

Massachusetts dog joins college groundskeeping crew

And in further use of dogs in education, Simmons College has a new way to solve an on-going problem. The droppings from Canadian geese have been fouling the campus quadrangle.

Rather than spending thousands to hire a company to clean up the mess, Becka Yturregui, a member of the staff, suggested letting her dog take a run at the job. At least twice a day, Finn, a 5-year-old Border Collie, bounds across the campus with a maintenance worker to send the geese soaring.

By instinct Border Collies attempt to herd, not to catch or harm other creatures. All legalities of the arrangement have been cleared and, best of all, Finn comes cheap—only a handful of baby carrots and an occasional “good boy.” source

Reading Paws: Dogs in the classroom

Isabelle the Poodle is not only a champion show dog and a winner in agility trials, her top accomplishment is as a reading dog.

Isabelle and her owner Debbi Cole are members of Reading Paws, an organization dedicated to improving reading skills of elementary students by using therapy dogs.

There are more than 80 teams of dogs and owners in Florida, Georgia and Tennessee The students feel more comfortable reading to dogs than they do reading to people. Sometimes they tell the teachers that when they have to read out loud in class they pretend they’re reading to a dog.

Once a week Isabelle comes into the classroom and listens quietly as the children improve their reading skills. The students look forward to the private time and the individual attention. As the students finish reading they reward Isabelle with a treat for being so patient.

Reading dogs have been successfully used with students from preschool through college age. Controlled studies show that the presence of a dog lowers the blood pressure of the readers and improves reading skills by measurable numbers.

Researchers measured students’ scores from the beginning of the school year to the end of the school year as compared to those students who didn't participate. The percentage rise is much greater when you introduce the dogs. More of the story

When the Saints go marching in…

We can’t all be in New Orleans to celebrate Mardi Gras, but the Elmore County Humane Society in Alabama has its own Mardi Gras tradition today.

People and their pets are invited to dress in costumes and join the “Mardi Paws Krew” (or Khrew as our buddy Khyra would say) to revel in a mile long parade.

For a chance to get exercised and do a little butt sniffing, most dogs should be glad to put up with a costume.

This guy looks like he could make it as a Saint, (an NFL Saint, not the other one).

Friendship

I feel sniffly, sneezy, coughy, and crappy. But this made me feel better.