Misty the alpha Poodle here. Last year we wrote New Year’s resolutions for the cat. Since she paid little no attention to them, we are repeating them for her this year.
1. I will not play Thundering Buffalo Stampeding across the Great Plains while humans and dogs are sleeping on the bed.
2. I will patiently allow the dogs to sniff my mouth and nether regions when I return to the yard to bring them the news from the neighborhood.
3. I will limit my going out/coming in to one time per each door opening.
4. I will not rub up against the face of any dog while another dog or human is watching and laughing.
5. I will allow the dogs some measure of doggie dignity by not curling up with them even though they are warm.
6. When playing chase with the dogs, I must not embarrass them by getting in the rear.
7. When playing with humans and dogs, I must remember I have retractable claws and keep them retracted.
8. I will pretend I know nothing of the carnage of any magpies.
9. When launching myself from the bed to the window or dresser, I must not use humans or dogs as a launching pad. The same is true of a landing pad.
10. I will not weave around feet in the hallway or on the steps even though it does cause some excitement.
11. A human typing on a computer does not form a hammock for my enjoyment.
12. I will remember that my human can see me when she first wakes up in the morning even when I am further than one inch from her face.
13. Playing psycho cat from hell when I am put into the cat carrier only annoys the humans and amuses the dogs.
Steve Bartlett has 2 dogs and 13 cats in his house, 7 of his own and 6 foster cats; the cats submitted the following resolutions for the dogs, Buddy and Lisa, and all other dogs:
1. I will not bark at people walking past the house.
2. I will not bark at leaves blowing in the street.
3. I will not bark at the garbage or recycling collectors.
4. I will not bark when the branches blow in the wind.
5. I will not bark when the shed doors rattle.
6. I will not bark when squirrels run across the roof.
7. I will not bark when the whistling kettle whistles.
8. I will not bark when I hear a siren five miles away.
9. I will not bark when a car horn honks.
And most importantly:
10. I will not grab cats by the tail and drag them around the living room just to hear them make really cool noises.