New year's resolutions for the cat (written by the dogs)

Since the dogs have deemed themselves perfect,
they have written New Year’s resolutions for the cat

I will not play Thundering Buffalo Stampeding across the Great Plains while humans and dogs are sleeping on the bed.

I will patiently allow the dogs to sniff my mouth and nether regions when I return to the yard to bring them the news from the neighborhood.

I will limit my going out/coming in to one time per each door opening.

I will not rub up against the face of any dog while another dog or human is watching and laughing.

I will allow the dogs some measure of doggy dignity by not curling up with them even though they are warm.

When playing chase with the dogs, I must not embarrass them by getting in the rear.

When playing with humans and dogs, I must remember I have retractable claws and keep them retracted.

I will pretend I know nothing of the carnage of any magpies.

When launching myself from the bed to the window or dresser, I must not use humans or dogs as a launching pad. The same is true of a landing pad.

I will not weave around feet in the hallway or on the steps even though it does cause some excitement.

A human typing on a computer does not form a hammock for my enjoyment.

I will remember that my human can see me when she first wakes up in the morning even when I am further than one inch from her face.

Playing psycho cat from hell when I am put into the cat carrier only annoys the humans and amuses the dogs.

Comments

[Chris]

What a wonderful story below about the 2 dogs going to Iraq. And of course your dogs are so perfect, as we are, that no resolutions are necessary. But cats on the other hand......we have 3 of them in our house and all of the above should be applied to them also. Happy New Year!
Abby & Rosie (and the 3 pesky cats Jackie, Gidget and Fritz)

[Fuzzy Logic]

oh perfect! By any chance do you think you might get my cat to participate in this list?

[jackie]

annie says your cats a pussy...

[Neva]

OMG I laughed so hard at this.....what a hoot!

[schnoodlepooh]

us dogs have only one new years' resolution.
1. run faster, jump higher, bark louder
yes, we're perfect.

[Miss Trashahassee]

Jan,

Where do you get this stuff! ROFL!

BFF,
Miss T

[jan]

Miss T

I'm actually just the typist for the dogs.

j

[Kahshe Cottager aka Jen]

This was fun ... and my laugh for the day!

Have a very Happy New Year Jan from me and mine to you and yours!

[Chelle B.]

I can add another..

I will remember to wait until the humans aren't looking to strip an ornament off the tree and entice the puppies to chew it up so it looks like they did it!!

=^.^=

[Jimmy]

Sounds like the cat needs to "Hiss" and make up with the dogs!

[Rosemary]

Sophie read this....she is a little, tiny bit upset.....you suggest taking away all of her fun and she will never bow to the wishes of a dog.

[threecollie]

I hope you don't mind if I read this aloud to certain cats here at Northview.....

[Steve Bartlett]

My cats have decided that my two dogs need a list of their own:

1. I will not bark at people walking past the house.
2. I will not bark at leaves blowing in the street.
3. I will not bark at the garbage or recycling collectors.
4. I will not park when the tree branches blow in the wind.
5. I will not bark when the shed doors rattle.
6. I will not bark when squirrels run across the roof.
7. I will not bark when the whistling kettle whistles.
8. I will not bark when I hear a siren five miles away.
9. I will not bark when a car horn honks.
And most importantly:
10. I will not grab cats by the tail and drag them around the living room just to hear them make really cool noises.

[cube]

lol! My cats can learn a lot from this.

[Gus and Louie]

That is great. We have 2 cats that need to learn these rules!!! Those retractable claws always seem to be flying at Louie and I.. We don't understand why they don't like us stepping on them... Sissy cats anyway...

Gus and Louie

[Lynn Sinclair]

"I will not weave around feet in the hallway or on the steps even though it does cause some excitement."

My cat needs to add this one to her own list of resolutions.

[Matt]

Can't wait to hear the cats reaction to these resolutions. Happy New Year!!!

[jayne d'Arcy]

I think this is a great resolution list, lol. Happy New Year to you, the dogs, the magpies and everyone else!

[Marion]

This is great! Your dogs sure know cat behaviour, Jan. Happy New Year to you and your family!

[Tony]

Alice needs to study this list. Especially the resolution regarding the stampeding herd of buffaloes!

[teetotaled]

hehe must read this to my cat! LOL

[Diamond Emerald-Eyes]

But I AM psycho cat from hell!