I will not play Thundering Buffalo Stampeding across the Great Plains while humans and dogs are sleeping on the bed.
I will patiently allow the dogs to sniff my mouth and nether regions when I return to the yard to bring them the news from the neighborhood.
I will limit my going out/coming in to one time per each door opening.
I will not rub up against the face of any dog while another dog or human is watching and laughing.
I will allow the dogs some measure of doggy dignity by not curling up with them even though they are warm.
When playing chase with the dogs, I must not embarrass them by getting in the rear.
When playing with humans and dogs, I must remember I have retractable claws and keep them retracted.
I will pretend I know nothing of the carnage of any magpies.
When launching myself from the bed to the window or dresser, I must not use humans or dogs as a launching pad. The same is true of a landing pad.
I will not weave around feet in the hallway or on the steps even though it does cause some excitement.
A human typing on a computer does not form a hammock for my enjoyment.
I will remember that my human can see me when she first wakes up in the morning even when I am further than one inch from her face.
Playing psycho cat from hell when I am put into the cat carrier only annoys the humans and amuses the dogs.