A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the guy that shot my paw."
A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"
A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?" The lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog and the dog bites him. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. This isn't my dog."
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not", then disappeared.
Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my feathers?" The bartender answers, "They're down around your ankles."
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer and a mop."
A dyslexic walks into a bra
Two baby seals walk into a club.
These are pretty much guaranteed to clear out the room.