Taki Thecat is a single career woman between the ages of 30 and 45, who owns her own home and makes over $100,000 a year. She is a marketer’s dream.
She is also my cat.
Several years ago Taki Thecat subscribed to Martha Stewart Living Magazine. Some time later she received a mailing from a marketing company promising to enter her in a $25,000 sweepstakes and send her “valuable gifts and coupons for products she uses every day” in return for a lot of personal information. Thinking I could use $25,000, I filled out the questionnaire for her—creatively.
After I mailed it, I had some misgivings. What if she won the sweepstakes? How would I cash the check? She didn’t meet the age requirement, even in cat years. Fortunately she didn’t win nor do I remember valuable gifts or coupons showing up.
But now she has the most—and highest-class—junk mail of anyone. She gets many large envelopes with “Special Introductions,” “Reserved just for you,” and “Complimentary tickets” for high end products and services that the rest of us don’t get. She gets full color brochures featuring home, fashion and beauty products.
She gets more credit cards reserved in her name because of her ”excellent credit history” than I do. A recent insurance company assured her that because of her “excellent driving record,” their records showed that she is paying too much for car insurance. She gets personal invitations to receptions to launch new housing developments.
When her subscription to Martha Stewart Living expired, I had a personal call for Taki Thecat with a “special extended offer.” Trying not to giggle, I just said that she can’t talk right now.
It was true.