The 17 Commandments for Dogs

Thanks to Ed for sending these

1. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello.”

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

4. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

5. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

6. The sofa is not a ‘face towel,’ Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

8. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

9. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

10. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

11. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet

12. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

13. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

14. I will not throw up in the car.

15. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

16. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

17. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 17?

Comments

[Sally]

This should keep finicky people from getting a dog. :)

[Tina]

I wish my dog would obey SOME of these.

[chandira]

Oooh, those are awesome.. I should come up with a list for cats, but I suppose commandments for cats is a bit of an oxymoron, isn't it? lol I'd just get one of 'those' looks.

[Laura]

My dog needs to start following these. I also think they missed one.

18) I will not stare at people with sad eyes while they are eating.

[Carina]

I will not steal 1 1/2 lbs of Mackinaw Island fudge from the dining room table and eat it all, including the wrapping. (Cooper.)
I will not get anxious and eat the loveseat. (Daphne.)

Haha! Why is it, again, that we share our homes with these creatures? Oh yeah. They're really cool. :)

[Two Sirius]

19) Until I get a job and can buy my own sofa, I do not take precedence over the humans who want to sit on it.

[schnoodlepooh]

Those are great - and oh so true!!! Poor dogs, we do expect so much from them...and they give us so much love... and antics... you can't help but love them!

[Writingirl]

I read this to my dogs. They suggested paring them down to 5 commandments, claiming their brain power is not as large as humans, hence they should have fewer rules to follow. Then they insisted we vote. It was 2 to 1, with the cat abstaining from vote. Sheesh.