1. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello.”
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
4. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
5. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
6. The sofa is not a ‘face towel,’ Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
8. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
9. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
10. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
11. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet
12. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
13. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
14. I will not throw up in the car.
15. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
16. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
17. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 17?