Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet. The black Labrador asked the yellow Labrador "So why are you here?" The Yellow Lab stated that he was peeing in the house on just about everything and could not help it. It was just the natural thing to do. So they are having me fixed. They say that it will stop my urge to mark everything. And so, why are you here?
The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences all the time, so that I can chase all the female dogs in the neighborhood. They thought be having me fixed it would stop my urge to get out and run the neighborhood.
So they looked at the Dane and said, Well what is your story. You see, I am a humper. I have this natural urge to hump people's leggs. The other day my owner got out of the shower and she dropped her towel. Of course, I could not resist the urge, so I jumped on her and had a great time. To this the Yellow Lab said, so they are having you fixed to get rid of the wild urge to mate then? "NO", said the Dane. "I am here to get my nails trimmed".
Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.
He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells.